5 Ways You’re Stealing Energy From Others

Cameron Hooper Mind 26 Comments

couple holding hands

Energy is the essence of life. When we lack energy, we are unmotivated, depressed, impatient, lack a sense of direction, and above all, feel as if there is an empty void in our stomach that can never be filled.

Nobody enjoys a lack of energy. Quite frankly, it sucks (literally as you will come to find out).

When our energy feels low, the subconscious mind seeks to replenish our energy stores. Unfortunately, most people unknowingly get their energy by stealing or literally sucking it out of other people.

This Is What I Call Energy Theft

The people who steal energy are vampires. Except in this case, people suck energy and not blood.

Energy theft can be achieved with several different strategies. Usually the strategy you use is the same strategy that worked during your childhood.

Energy theft is harmful because it:

  • Encourages conflict & feeds your ego.
  • Relies on stealing energy from others. This harms the victims much more than you may think.
  • Compromises the value & health of most social interactions.
  • Causes others to steal energy after being drained by others (turns them into an energy vampire).
  • Conceals your true self and locks away your limitless potential.

An Example of Energy Vampirism

Before we dive into the types of energy vampires, I am going to give you an all too familiar example. Put yourself in this situation:

As I stroll into the break room to eat my delicious quinoa salad for lunch, I notice only one person is in the room sitting at a table with his head buried in his palms. After getting a glimpse of his face, I realize it is my friend Sam. He is clearly ‘down in the dumps.’

“Hey Sam,” I said with a concerned tone. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh…nothing….” said Sam with an over-exaggerated sigh.

“Something must be wrong, I can clearly see it” I said reassuringly.

“I guess…but never mind, it doesn’t matter” said Sam in a quiet voice as he slightly turned away from me.

“Well something is obviously wrong, but it looks like you don’t want to talk right now…so that’s perfectly ok.” I said as I began to walk out of the room. As I approached the door, Sam lets out an even louder SIGH to bait my attention. It worked.

“I guess something is wrong.” said Sam reluctantly.

“What’s wrong then?” I asked with an irritated tone.

“It is too much to explain, you won’t understand anyways” said Sam as he made brief eye contact, then gazed downwards and buried his head back down into his palms.

“Just try to explain,” I said caringly. “It’s worth a try, to get it off your chest.”

“Well…ok…maybe,” said Sam with a painstaking delay between each word. “It is just, I am having trouble with many things. I am emotionally stressed because of everything that is going on in my life.”

. . .Ok I am going to stop this dialogue here. 

What’s Really Going on Here?

This dialogue is just as irritable to read as it is to experience.

I would bet that you have experienced something similar to this, whether it was with a significant other or someone else you are acquainted. 

“Humanity is in a perpetual war of energy theft because most people don’t know how to get it any other way”

Don’t these situations leave you feeling drained, guilty, tired, irritated, or all of the above? You are certainly not the only one.

In fact, chances are, you have been like Sam at some point in your life, and perhaps often. But nobody likes this aloof behavior because it is draining to be around.

Why is it draining? Well, behaviors like Sam’s are actually draining the energy out of you. Similarly, I would bet that you are using Sam’s strategy, or possibly another form of energy theft, to replenish the energy that people have stolen from you.

If Sam would have told me exactly what was bothering him, a solution to his sorrows could have been discussed…but he did not want a solution. Sam wanted an energy fix. He needed to replenish the energy that has been stolen from him.

You All Are Energy Sucking Vampires

It’s true.

Unless you are a spiritual savant and are able to control your ego, you’re contributing to conflict in our world by stealing energy from others on a frequent basis.

Yes this may be difficult to swallow, and it was for me at first too. But I am saying this out of love, not out of malice. Sometimes the blunt truth is the most effective tool to get the job done.

It is essential for you to become aware of your energy sucking behaviors because these behaviors feed the ego, the root of all conflict. 

When you seek attention, you seek to steal the energy from those who are giving you the attention or a feeling of superiority.

Attention = Energy

Think back to when someone you know acted like Sam.

How did you feel after the interaction? It is likely that you felt drained, tired, and possibly guilty afterwards.

Next time a Sam pops up in your life, take careful note of how it makes you feel.

Also, be aware if you ever act like Sam in the future. Become aware how you feel after acting like Sam. Most likely, you will feel “better,” empowered, energized, and/or have a feeling of satisfaction. That void in your stomach has been momentarily filled.

Read back on the dialogue and pay attention to how Sam kept vying for my attention (energy).

Even though Sam was unaware of what he was doing, he was trying to keep my attention by acting aloof and giving vague responses. This behavior enticed me to ask questions and find out more. He had me just where he wanted; Sam was keeping my attention solely on him. In doing so, he was stealing my energy. When he began to lose my attention, he would try to hook me back in with obvious cues which indicated he was unhappy.

The longer he could sustain my attempts to figure out what was wrong, the more energy he could leech from me.

This form of energy vampirism is called the aloof strategy. Aloof is but one of the 5 different ways people, or energy vampires, steal energy from other beings.

Those of you who have read the Celestine Prophecy book series (which is an absolutely amazing series of books for spiritual development, might I add) will know that these energy vampirism strategies are called control dramas.

The 5 Types of Energy Theft

1.) The intimidator is exactly how it sounds. These people take energy from others through intimidation and threats. This is the most aggressive form of energy vampirism and is used in a variety of ways.the four control dramas from the celestine prophecy

  • Someone who obsesses over weight lifting can use his physical superiority to instill fear in others. These people will often resort to fighting to assert their dominance or ego. They gain energy from those they overpower and force to submit.
  • A boss, political superior, an affluent person, or public figure can use their status to intimidate others and threaten those who are viewed as inferior

2.) Interrogators constantly judge other people. They are always looking for something in someone else to criticize. By doing so, they get a sense of ego, or superiority.

  • These types like to take control of conversations and ask a lot of questions to find any possible flaw.
  • Interrogators can find a “flaw” in anything, no matter how small, to give themselves an energy fix.
  • Interrogators love to complain. Complaining is a form of ego enhancement because you are inherently “right” when complaining about something or a situation.

3.) Ohhh, and the infamous poor me control drama. Most of you reading this can relate to how guilt just sucks the life force right out of you. It’s a downright awful feeling. People who use poor me often,

  • Make others feel guilty as long as possible—they perpetuate it.
  • Have a habit of making their life always seem more difficult than another’s.
  • If you vocalize any hardship, they will immediately one-up you with something worse that they have experienced.
  • Prefer to make those who are in their presence feel guilty & also like to complain like interrogators.

4. The aloof style of energy theft is perhaps one of the most common, yet the most overlooked. These people are quite often very passive aggressive. They are experts of the “oh… nothing’s wrong,” when something clearly is bothering them.

  • They take energy by acting coy and “hard to get.”
  • These people will also often shut down during conflict.

5.) Storytellers love to tell a story at any opportunity they can get in social situations. This is how they get their energy and attention.

  • Although the Celestine Prophecy books only use 4 categories, I believe there should be 5. The fifth category being what I call storytellers. The Celestine Prophecy claimed these people are aloof but I do not find that to always be the case.
  • Storytellers are sure to ALWAYS maintain eye contact to keep your attention, even if you are clearly uninterested.
  • They love to tell you a story even if you said you have heard it.
  • Sometimes these people can story-tell in the form of being a know-it-all. They take any chance to educate you about information even if you claim to already know about it.

People can also be what I call an adapter. These individuals are energy sucking vampire lords.

Adapters will use every control drama. Through life experiences, they subconsciously know how and when to use each energy theft strategy for every situation in their life. This allows them to steal the most possible energy.

I honestly do not have many suggestions for these individuals. Their ego is usually so deeply rooted into their identity that it would take an ENORMOUS amount of work to reverse. Most of the time they are stubbornly entrenched in denial, so getting through to them would be quite a feat or trigger the defensive use of a control drama such as the intimidator.

Adapters are unwavering slaves to their ego. Deep down, adapters are very insecure. They feel the need to constantly steal energy and give themselves the false impression that they are superior. Unlike the other strategies, adapters constantly look for opportunities to steal energy. These efforts increase as their energy drains.

Be careful not to become an interrogator yourself when observing these control dramas in others. The biggest challenge is to recognize these behaviors within yourself so they can be vanquished.

By eliminating your energy stealing behaviors, you will be one step closer to taking control of your life rather than your ego controlling it.

How to Stop Stealing Energy From Others

If you learn anything from this post, I urge you to at least take this section to heart.

When you stop taking energy from others, something amazing happens: social interactions become genuine and more enjoyable, you develop a magnetic personality, you experience less conflict, and people seem to trust you. 

Ego is a castle built not of stone, but of insecurity. Locked away within its dark dungeons, you will find only one prisoner: your true self. “

When people realize that you are not there to criticize, intimidate, make them feel guilty, or just steal their energy, they open up the gates to their castle built by their ego. Inside this castle, is their true self. People will subconsciously realize that they will not have to have to protect or battle over energy. As a result, they let their guard down.

When you abandon your energy sucking ways of life, you will begin to realize that people act “different” around you. Except this “difference” is not different at all; it is their true self.

More times than I can count, people tell me up front that they feel as if they can act like themselves when they are around me. Weird right? Not so much. They just feel secure and when that happens, their ego has no place.

Here are some suggestions on how to leave your life of energy thievery behind:

Be brutally honest with yourself and determine which energy sucking strategy you use the most—an awareness is the first step to removing it. While people can use a combination of different strategies, most primarily use one.

  • Meditate: meditation allows you to “plug-in” to the infinite source of energy so you are not tempted to take it from others. This is hands-down my favorite strategy.
  • Instead of arguing with someone, tell them they are entitled to their own opinion and simply leave it at that. Seeking to win an argument is a form of energy theft and ego enhancement.
  • Seek to improve your health. Exercise, eat healthy, control your stress, etc. This will help you feel better about yourself and become more clear-headed.
  • Create a daily log/diary of each time you use a control drama. By doing so, you will engrain the behavior in your head so you can more easily become aware of it while you are in the moment.
  • If you are truly seeking to eliminate your ego, ask others who are close to you to inform you when you are using a control drama. This one can cause frustration but also can be very effective.
  • Protect yourself from other energy vampires. Here is a great article on how to protect your energy.
  • Don’t give in to other people’s control drama. Combat their strategy by making them aware of exactly what they are doing, then leave the situation.

All This Talk About Ego…How Does it Relate?

You may already be aware or have connected the dots, but when you steal energy from others, you are feeding your ego. This ego is a false and superficial identity.

Ego prevents you from free will and being your true self.

The more you fuel that ego, the further you get from your true self and the less inner freedom you have.

The ego always wants more energy; it is never enough. As a result, many of your interactions with human beings are controlled by this ego.

The ego is the driving force behind all attempts of energy theft. It wants to prevail and maintain control.

But what would happen if we were stripped of our ego and energy-stealing behaviors?

That is a profoundly deep question…

What would happen if there was no ego in our world? Would that mark the end of all conflict, exploitation, and violence?

Comments 26

  1. Stupendous insight on Energy Vampirism and Ego! Thank you! Nearly what I was looking for~

    I was curious because on my morning walk today I was passed and greeted by another frequent walker. As he passed me, he smiled and gave a very cheery and booming greet. I made sure to make eye contact, smiled, and returned his greeting nicely as I usually do. But I noticed that after a little while from passing, I began to exclaim to myself (a bit aloud) about being backed by someone else with a spelling habit I have. I paused at my mild outburst and noticed the excited energy I suddenly had. I’ve noticed feeling a panicy energy in social situations before, but never such an upbeat energy.

    I couldn’t really tell, but he didn’t seem as cheery when I glanced up to him with a smile at our 2nd passing. I might be overthinking, but I wondered if I somehow zapped his energy away from him without knowing. 🙁

    Since I wasn’t sad or down (I rather enjoy my morning outings~), I guess I’m wondering if we can use friendliness or a likable personality to actually steal energy away, too… Like, if I’m that sweet and memorable, isn’t their ATTENTION/energy on me? Or am I carrying vampiric tendencies? Since I began to feed my ego straight after, did he actually steal MY energy? HMMM..

    Anyway, thanks again! I never expect a response when I leave comments to online articles, but would appreciate it if I did~❤️ 😉

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      Hey there,

      Thank you for your kind words 🙂

      It can be really difficult sometimes to figure out whether our actions are ego driven (seeking energy) or something else like genuine confidence. There’s nothing wrong with having a sweet and magnetic personality that attracts people’s attention. But I think it’s totally different when a person goes out of their way to get attention for energy. To figure out the truth of my intentions, I try to ask myself questions like “Do I have a desired result with the way I’m acting?” For example, someone who tries to steal energy in social situations by soaking up all the attention will act out, interrupt people, or do whatever else is necessary to maintain that attention. Whereas a person who is naturally magnetic will be totally ok if the attention they’re getting abruptly ends.

      In short, friendships can be healthy or toxic. It really depends. When I find myself feeling superior to someone or something, complaining a lot, or pointing out flaws in a social situation, I know that interaction is driven by the ego which tries to get that energy. On the other hand, the few friends that I keep, I know they’re genuine because I rarely feel that swell of “ego” energy when I’m around them.

      It can be really tough to tell the difference. It takes a lot of self-observing and reflection. I have come to learn the difference between an ego high and just feeling great. An ego high feels more dominant and superior in nature–that’s the best I can describe it.

      All relationships have an exchange of energy. But it becomes vampirism when a person starts using the control dramas. It’s a really complex subject so I hope this helps! And if you haven’t already, I highly suggest reading the Celestine Prophecy Books (and Eckhart Tolle’s books.

      Be well,

  2. I LOVED this article and I’m going to buy Celestine prophecy books.
    I feel like I knew all this, but now I can see it more clearly.

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      I’m so happy to hear you liked it! Yeah I couldn’t recommend them enough. Great fiction wrapped in powerful life messages you can use to enhance your consciousness 🙂 The Celestine Prophecy books certainly among some of my favorite books. I hope that this article and those books can help you on your journey as it did for me.


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  3. Glad you have a sense of humor, I frequently forget to say JK and just expect others to know my tone. I was kidding and it’s an insightful article. It certainly hits home for me. I feel I may be guilty of unknowingly draining others and it has caused strain in my relationships. My wife sent me this article today after we had an argument which I am sure I started. In any case I do realize “wearing ones heart on ones sleeve” may be a misnomer for what you describe in this article. Thanks and I will make a conscious effort to not unload on people as much. ??

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      All you can do is assert the truth. But once that truth becomes a way to prove yourself right and the other wrong, it becomes a battle of energy. If someone chooses not to believe a truth once you’ve told them and where supporting evidence can be found, then there’s nothing else you can really do. Not accepting a truth is on them at that point — they are likely holding on to their own beliefs due to ego.

  4. Got a lot of needed info from this. Have recently realized that a conflict I have with a dear friend is about an energy drain. … helped me pinpoint the source in the references to storyteller and adaptor. Thanks.

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  5. I am an Energy Theif. I wish i would have had these words so many years Ago. I will read and read again. I will change my way because now i finally understand what I do wrong. THANK YOU

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      You’re so welcome!

      Simply the fact that you’re willing to accept the fact that you’re taking energy from others is a massive step forward.

      Best of luck with your personal journey 🙂

  6. I looked up how to literally steal someone’s energy. Is there a way to literally like, touch someone to actually drain their energy? Only for defense purposes, of course. I am responsible and can handle this secret power. Please help.

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      In ancient Chinese practices, it’s theorized that energy does transfer from touch. Usually from a high gradient to a low one (so the person with a higher vibration gets drained). In theory, it’s made this way so family units can function (i.e., give children energy when they need it). But obviously, this can get dysfunctional.

      That being said, energy can be transferred without touch, it just depends on the situation.

    2. Charlotte Mallegol

      You are not ethically allowed to steal, that goes for energy as well as for material things. A person’s life energy belongs to that person and no one else.

      You cannot “steal for defense purposes” or “steal responsibly”. Listen to yourself.

      Don’t steal, people, there’s no excuse for it. And you’ll have to pay it all back later anyway. Don’t add to your own burdens.

      If you need to defend yourself against someone, the best defense against energy theft will always be to stay away from the vampire. Distance is important.

  7. Is wearing makeup and dressing in ways that gain attention (i.e. all fashion) energy seeking vampirism? By extension, having listed the male strength/power game as an energy sucker, surely the female sexuality ego power games need to be unpacked a little?

    You could label me as an interrogator, but I think is a valid point.

    Interesting concept though.

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      You’re not looking for faults in my argument to just poke holes. That’s 100% constructive so I think you’re good 😉

      That being said, I think you’re totally right. Dressing in ways that will draw a significant amount of attention is surely an ego-driven behavior. But I think it’s also important to consider that cleaning yourself up to feel fresh and wearing nice clothes (I’m not talking about expensive designer clothes) is reasonable. For instance, I will wear nice work clothes even though I often work from home. It doesn’t impress anyone, it’s just helpful for putting me in a clean mindset that’s ready for work.

      A discussion is possible without ego. But once someone tries to make a point simply to show the other that they are “right” and the other is “wrong,” it’s a different story.

  8. How exactly do I find a donor for energy sucking vampire? I know I get energy from people/or someone is draining me. Cause there will be times I will be riding in the car and I will get a very sharp pain on the right side of my head at the temple. It will last for about 45 minutes. Can I control it and use it for good.

  9. your article has touched my heart.thanks for this great article.
    most of the time i find myself drained of energy and it is not like that i am a pessimistic person.i have been living with this feeling(drained of energy) since last 7 to 8 years.yeah, that’s true.i could never figure it out but i have always felt as if someone was controlling my mood,exploiting my energy,like a part of me(my energy) is slave of someone,commanded by others.
    it is one of the worst feeling in the world when you are giving your 100 percent but not able to achieve the results because a part of you that is your energy is being constantly raped by these vampires whom we call our friends,relatives.
    why the world cannot turn into kids who never satisfy their ego because they don’t know what ego is.
    please guide.

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  10. If that’s your nature there is no way to control it. So why try? I seem to drain the ones that I care about the most. Maybe its caused by the shamanistic heritage in our blood line.

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      I see it as a survival trait we develop during childhood. If we were born with it, then it might be another story. As such, we can move away from our energy-thieving patterns — it’s just easier said than done. This would allow us to have healthier interactions with other people. That’s the way I see it at least.

  11. What an amazing article! The things you have laid out here so clearly is what I have always felt in many social settings. Mainly this attention seeking behaviors In trying to dominate conversations and yourself feeling so drained after such social gatherings. And also the hard truth when we are guilty of such behaviors! So important to be self reflecting. Please keep such insightful articles coming! Love it. Thankyou!

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  12. What an amazing article! The things you have laid out here so clearly is what I have always felt in many social settings. Mainly this attention seeking behaviors In trying to dominate conversations and yourself feeling so drained after such social gatherings. And also the hard truth when we are guilty of such behaviors! So important to be self reflecting. Please keep such insightful articles coming! Love it. Thankyou!

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